I love a good podcast. One that I have been fan girling over recently is Black Girl Burnout, hosted by Kelley Bonner. Tailored to Black women, Black Girl Burnout guides listeners to shift from mentalities of hustle culture, exhaustion, and stress to self-compassion, joy, and softness. In episode Soft is the New Rich, choosing ease over exhaustion, Kelley describes “softness” as living with ease, alignment, and rest, as the truest form of richness. That softness is more than a trend, but a movement rooted in healing, nervous system care, and sustainable living for Black women. This idea intrigued me and, in turn, inspired this blog post.

In a world that expects women of color to be unbreakable, softness becomes a rebellion. From an early age, we are taught — directly or indirectly — to toughen up. To not cry too loudly. To be strong, especially when no one else will be. The result? Many of us become excellent caretakers, leaders, and survivors, but forget how to be gentle with ourselves.

Softness isn’t weakness. It’s the willingness to feel. To be tender in a world that hardens you. To say, “I deserve to be held, too.”

This is radical when your identity is shaped by systems that benefit from your silence and sacrifice. When you’ve been told your emotions make you dramatic. When crying at work, setting boundaries, or saying “I need help” feels unsafe. It’s no wonder so many of us armor up. But the armor can become a burden.

Practicing softness doesn’t mean abandoning strength — it means expanding it. It’s choosing to rest without guilt. It’s letting yourself cry without apology. It’s being honest about your needs instead of pushing through the pain. It’s asking, “What would it look like to be gentle with myself today?”

Softness is a return to the parts of you that didn’t get nurtured, not because you were broken, but because the world wasn’t ready. You are allowed to be soft and strong.

Wisdom for the Road:

• Softness is Strength, Not Weakness: Choosing gentleness with yourself—feeling deeply, resting without guilt, and setting boundaries—is a radical act of courage and self-compassion, especially when systems have taught you to armor up and stay silent.
• Reclaim Your Right to Feel and Be Held: Embracing softness means acknowledging that your emotions are valid and that asking for support is necessary, not dramatic or unsafe. It’s a way to expand your strength, not abandon it.
• Softness is a Movement Toward Healing: Living with ease, alignment, and care reconnects you to the parts of yourself that were never broken but simply underserved by a world that demanded toughness, reminding you that you can be both soft and strong.

I appreciate you taking the time to read my post. If this was helpful, let me know in the comments, like or share this post with someone who needs it!  To get notified when new posts are available, you can subscribe to my blog: Words of Wisdom!  

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