Grief at the Table: When Loved Ones Are Missing During Thanksgiving

For many, Thanksgiving centers on gathering with loved ones. But for those grieving, the empty chair at the table can be deafening. Whether the loss is recent or years old, holidays have a way of magnifying absence.

Why Holidays Amplify Grief
Traditions highlight who is no longer there. A favorite recipe, a familiar joke, or even the sound of a song can stir waves of sadness. Grief isn’t linear, and holidays often reopen wounds we thought had healed.

Allow the Feelings
It’s natural to want to push grief aside and “be cheerful” for others. But suppressing emotions often intensifies them. Giving yourself permission to feel—whether it’s sadness, anger, or even relief—is a vital part of healing.

Ways to Honor Missing Loved Ones

  • Set a place of remembrance. Light a candle or set a photo at the table.
  • Share stories. Invite everyone to recall their favorite memory.
  • Cook their favorite dish. Food is a powerful way to feel connected.
  • Create a private ritual. Write them a letter, take a walk, or spend quiet time in reflection.

Balancing Grief and Gratitude
Grief doesn’t cancel gratitude; the two can exist together. You can miss someone deeply while also giving thanks for the love that remains. Letting both feelings coexist allows the holiday to be authentic, not forced.

If you’re grieving this Thanksgiving, know that you’re not alone. The table may feel emptier, but the love you carry remains. Grief at the table is a sign of love that endures—and remembering is its own form of thanksgiving.

Wisdom To Carry with You

  • Holidays have a way of magnifying absence. Grief isn’t linear, and holidays often reopen wounds we thought had healed.
  • Giving yourself permission to feel.
  • Find ways to honor loved ones, you can use one of the provided examples.
  • You can miss someone deeply while also giving thanks for the love that remains. Grief doesn’t cancel gratitude, the two can co-exsist.

I’m Jennifer Bailey, LCSW & RDT. I’m trying to offer a few words of wisdom in a complex world.  Make sure you like it and share it with others and when you subscribe you will get notified when new posts are available! Life is hard and I am here to help. To learn more about the services I offer you can go to BCS-therapeutic services.

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